The Big Picture

One thing that I have learned within my 41 years is that none of us have the "big picture". No matter how much we may think we know about a person or situation, it is but a very small glimpse of the truth of everything. The greatest learning that we can achieve in this lifetime is to recognize that we do not know. It is in the thinking that we "know" that we have brought the most harm to ourselves. Yet this is also the greatest opportunity to learn to trust in the One Who knows all things.

I have been gay for as long as I can remember. I am neither proud nor ashamed of it. It is merely a very small part of who I am and when viewed within the proper light, a great learning device. God has never condemned me, yet I have condemned myself many times with thoughts of unworthiness. I certainly had a very small picture of myself. Thankfully, the One Who holds the complete picture knows better about me. I need no longer condemn myself, and as I learn to not condemn myself, I no longer feel the "need" to condemn another.

I grew up in Ft. Worth, Texas as a Baptist. I remember hearing the "n word" used many times by my family. Yet my family was not bad, merely misinformed. It was only fear that spoke such an ugly word, fear of what we do not understand, fear of not understanding. We had a very incomplete picture of black people. I am grateful for my many opportunities to begin to learn otherwise. Yet I had to give the little willingness required to change my mind about what I thought to be true. I could no longer pass it off to the idea that "well, that was what I was taught!". I must now take responsibility for my own mind.

Peace will never be found in conflict. As long as we choose to hold on to ideas of separation, our minds will be in conflict. And conflict is not from God. We now have an opportunity to begin to bring down the walls that we have allowed to separate us. And I have faith that we will do just that. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but in God's Perfect Time. I am grateful to be able to do my little part.