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Prayer Warriors Forum
feedback: stuart@stuartmiller.com
Posted By: D. <zelig_7@hotmail.com>
Date: Saturday, 1 September 2001, at 10:55 a.m.
Ok, firstly, I've not read the book,but get the premise/idea. me:32,14 yrs christian(charismatic)post-occult background, insecure with God, and homosexually oriented. I do have to say that I have been led by the Spirit of God (healings,words of knowledge,intercession,etc.) the Gifts have been demonstrated in my life,yet I"m insecure with God's love, and as well unsure about living openly. I don't want to be wrong about the issue on Judgement Day. Personally, after 10 years of addressing the issue,going to ex-gay oriented groups, praying,crying,etc. I find myself still looking at this like it's a fork in the road choice of which way to live..either one or the other,but somehow not "both". For the last few years I've been extremely depressed(clinically/on meds) and there's been no resolution in sight. In the end, I don't want to be "wrong" with God on the matter,but have been logjammed for a few years with all the implications and elements. Partly, I'm right now resigned to be miserable in life so that I'm not wrong after this life... I read Mary K Baxter's Divine Revelation of Hell, a great book, which with my spirit it really resounds, though at one point, (the "heart" of hell) homosexuality is addressed..Now I"m not saying she has all revelation, but it didn't exactly comfort me. God says about temptation,that there's a way of escape; and urges to act loosely with my sexuality can be and have been managed; but the direction of the affections hasn't. I"m looking for peace with God about what His purpose is,and reconciling all of me to Him,and where it's going to take me ultimately. I know this is a lot,and rambling, but could use any insight or suggestions, and prayer, on the matter(s). Feel free to drop me an EMail zelig_7@hotmail.com
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