Re: Twisted Family Values

Hi Barbara,

You make your point very well. However, I never referred to you as "dreaded". I have never met you and only know you from the small mentions in Stuart's book as well as both posts. How could I make such a judgement? Stuart actually spoke of you as a very loving and caring person. However in both posts, I sensed a lot of anger and hostility. You say you still love Stuart. That's wonderful. I am sorry to say that I seen too many situations involving a gay child where the opposite was obvious. Even many times what is called love is it anything but as it comes with so many strings attached. The greatest love comes when we realize that we don't always know what the best thing is for someone we love, and just allow them to be, mistakes and all, and simply allow God to do His job. That was the point in my own family when healing began to take place.

In Stuart's book, I saw nothing but love for his mother. I so no condemnation. When someone can bring out so much guilt and pain in you as his mother obviously brought out in him, there must be love somewhere. However, Stuart is an adult and has to make his own way now. Guilt does not come from love and the ego loves to use guilt to get others to do things our way. Sneaky little "devil" that ego!

You say that Stuart is playing the "blame game"? As any game, unless it is solitare it usually takes two to more players. Maybe you could help end that game?

I have learned that to be able to make any type of judgement, we have to have the whole picture. That would include my having only read Stuart's side of the story, or that fact that only Stuart has walked in Stuart's shoes. I just know that his story, as with many I have met in the same situation, are simply a call for love. Unconditional love. No one has to approve or dis-agree with his lifestyle. That is only between him and God. I saw one of the most beautiful quotes at a memorial service for Matthew Shepard that simply read:

"Know (love) me for who I am, not what I am." --unknown

To me, that was the entire message of Stuart's book.

May you all know perfect peace and healing. You are all in my prayers.

Love and Namaste, Brian:-)